Need some personal advice, i'm stuck in a hard place and i don't know what to do...

Majesitic_Gaming

Active Member
I know to some, if not all this is something you would least expect, or ever see on a gaming site/forum... I know i don't know any of you... My names Ethan, i'm 22 from Sydney Australia... I've just been diagnosed with Electrical Sinus Heart Failure, my heart electrical system is failing... I need to under go surgery within 3 months with only 50% chance of success... To rebuild my hearts electrical system. If i manage to pull through i may not live long or have a normal life/live my life to a full potential. This is not a sympathy post. (i have inserted and image below, unsure if its worked of not):



It's the fact i've had my Youtube channel for a while now, I've just recently started making gaming videos to keep my mind off things...

A bit of background history, four years ago i was diagnosed at the age of 18, 2011 due to unknown collapsing/fainting/syncope during high school, i had a few major problems going on in my life back then. Fact being during those days i had clinical depression, dropped out of high school, took a gap year to rebuild myself due to struggling to live an everyday battle, between my personal/family problems.

I studied at tafe, a year later which took all my strength to stand up and fight.. Depression is no easy feat, its a crushing psychosis which screws with your mental being... Tafe which is like minor college, for my certificate III in aged care, which then i became a nurse and worked in an aged hostel looking after the elderly, attending to their needs, showering, feeding, giving medication... I was there for a year and just over a half, 18 months in total. I was struggling day by day fighting against myself with an unknown cause, to seek treatment, i was scared so it took me awhile to come through... I started to seek treatment with only light diagnosis, doctors thinking it was all in my head.

Then i came across a cardiologist who specialized in heart background, i did multiple tests, stress test, ECG, Electrocardiograms, blood tests, ultrasounds on my chest, while struggling to work... Been given stage 2 and 3 Beta blockers for my heart. Being diagnosed first with SVT (Supra ventricular Tachycardia) treatment worked for a while, then the medication stopped working, my heart stopped responding to it and rejected the medication.

February/March this year i struggled to keep up with my workload and had to leave my work, i underwent a minor operation cause an EPS study, (electrophysiology study) when they put a set of leads up your groin in your thighs, that tests the electrical conduction system of the heart to assess the electrical activity and conduction pathways of the heart. They were going to do a cardiac ablation where they destroy the hearts defect/conductivity. After finding out the arrhythmia is too close to operate, if they went ahead with the operation i wouldn't have been here today writing this post, making youtube videos... ect.

I was diagnosed then with AVNRT sydrome, (Atrioventricular Nodal Reentrant Tachycardia) and WPW, Wolff-Parkinson White Sydnrome, when i found out i have two electrical circuits in my heart and not one like everyone else, to explain it, your hearts electrical current goes clockwise or anti-clockwise when your heart beats, mine goes like an 8/Eight figure which meets in the middle causing the arrhythmia.

Which was alright for a period of time... I was used to it, heart going haywire, i could be sitting in a chair and boom... heart's pounding mimicking a heart attack or similar symptoms to a panic attack. Multiple times i've ended up in hospital only to seem like i was wasting their time...

Last week i underwent a 7 day holter monitor to measure my hearts electrical conductivity/current. Finding out why i'm always fatigued, heart going over 100/150+bpm when i'm sleeping or at rest, my heart wont slow down. Only to find out that my heart is going into failure and keeping a higher heart rate is the reason for it to keep the heart beating a constant rhythm to keep up with the demand.

Within 3 months... I'll need to go for an operation where they will need to remap my heart... Which will be a mystery operation, i've never heard nor seen it done before, testing me as a guinea pig it feels like, i don't really know what to do. they will split a hole in the center of my heart, from the left and right atrium/ventricle, then remap my sinus nodes and burn out the electrical current.

If you've read this post to the end, id like too thank you for taking your time to read my post. I'm genuinely a pretty positive optimistic guy, just at times like these i feel rough and not sure where i stand... It's kinda hard asking for advice when most may not have been in this situation, may be younger than me, or not really sure what to do... Just times like these when you need to really have your head held high and live life while you can...
 

lordkaska

Member
jees hard to read all but yea.
Try always to life, never give up hope until the end
thats what i got to say about this.,

sorry for my short reaction don't know what else to say.
 

OrangeLightning

Active Member
That's quite a post, can I just say you are already very inspirational to keep your head up while going through something like this, I know plenty of people who could learn a thing or two from you.

I'm not sure if anything I say to you will be very useful, as I have not been in this situation or anything like it, but it sounds to me like you are a very brave strong guy, and even though the hand you've been dealt sucks you are still playing on with it, and believe it or not sometimes that hand is actually the one that wins the pot.

Keep fighting, you've already come so far keep pushing. I probably sound like a bad metaphor already so I should stop heh, but you are an amazing person and you should be proud of yourself.
 

JoshFaceh

Member
Hey dude,
I'm 23, and I live in Sydney also. If you feel like you need a youtuber friend, hit me up. We can chill and game together! You don't need to be alone in this.
 

BigTinyTimTim

Active Member
Dude we're here for you. I'm so sorry to hear about this, and I wish you the best of luck. Like JoshFaceh says above, if you want to game out just hit me up. I'd be happy to. We're all friends here, and we take care of each other.
 

seraphicai

Member
Not even kidding-- I shed a few tears a few seconds after I had finished reading and absorbed your situation. I cannot relate to your situation except that we touch grounds regarding depression. It's real and debilitating and a crushing psychosis, as you've described. Ethan, you're such a strong person for being resilient even though you've run into so many roadblocks. Keep persisting. Keep fighting. Thank you for your optimism as it is inspiring and gives me hope.

And please never, ever, ever feel like you're wasting people's time even though your trips to the hospital may not lead to improvements. None of this is your fault and you matter so much! I wish you the best in your upcoming surgery. I don't have the solutions to anything as I've yet to experience such hardships but I'll be around if you need anything. You're not alone. I'll try my best to understand you. :)

Edit: Hope you don't mind me asking but how do your family and friends feel about this? Are you getting enough support from them? Hope you're doing better.
 
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keeno 111

Member
I'm Aussie too. That's a tough read man, you definitely sound like a strong person. I guess all you can do is have a positive mind set , don't let any negativity get in your head. At least take comfort in knowing we have some of the best hospital facilities in and the world and some of the most skilled surgeons. We're rooting for you dude!
 
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