One tiny suggestion that you can feel free to ignore, it's up to you!
But if possible, I'd try to edit out excessive swearing. Games can be frustrating and exciting and sometimes you do need to let it out. But if you're excessively swearing, then try censoring your video a bit through editing. Swearing doesn't personally offend me at all, but it might offend others and get you dislikes or flagged.
As I say, just a suggestion! Other than that, the video looks fine to me!
Yeah I actually keep this note to myself as well (Not to swear) you can really make your audience MASSIVE if you don't, fortnite has an ENORMOUS amount of young kids playing and now that the days of school ending for the summer you're going to see a lot of influx for BATTLE ROYAL type games getting tons of views.
The excessive swearing puts me off from watching the video. I'm watching the game play and I'm like 'Okay, okay, that's pretty goo- oh there he goes just swearing away like a sailor again...'
The music isn't bad but it gets really distracting. I suggest either lowering it or putting in music for the EPIC/COMEDIC factor.
The transitions are too long. Shorten the transition time to half a second. Looking at blurred lines for a whole 2 seconds is BORING.
But overall, it's a NICE TRY.
My suggestion is to look at other successful Fortnite/Counter-strike/ETC youtube videos with tons of hits and see what they do and get an IDEA (not copy) what you could do better! Copying a style is good too if you're learning but as you progress, add to it and make it your own unique editing style!
If you don't like my critique and you're taking it personally, I'm sorry.